The Mission Knowledge is power and Information is Key!
African American males high rate of death, incarceration, and unemployment, and relatively low levels of college graduation
rates raises concerns for African American families and the nation’s economy. The contribution of social factors to the health
problems of young African American men deserves more attention than it has thus far received.
At ProjectBlackMan.com our mission is to raise the awareness about the state of black men and the black family in America as a
means of shifting the collective focus of black America from the by products of our issues to the core issues themselves.
Black America will never be on sound footing until we restore the presence of the father in our family culture and we raise the
education levels of our black men. The core issues facing the African American culture today are black male parenting, black male eduction
and building function adult relationships. Gangs, teen pregnancy, and poverty are by products of poor black male parenting, poor black male
education and a lack of functional adult Relationships. Currently 70% of black children are begin born without their father.
As a culture if we do nothing else except change the rate at which black children are begin
born without their father from 70% to 30% this, by itself, would change the face of our entire culture. We have complied a broad array
of statistical facts about the state of black America in a effort to provide a gauge for our culture as a whole, as we begin to move
our culture in a different direction.
Marcus "Morpheus Prime" Jones. Marcus Jones, a 39 year old entrepreneur, was born and raised in Pasadena, CA. He graduated from Grambling State University
where he majored in Criminal Justice with a minor in Spanish. Upon graduating from college he began to dabble in creating websites. Soon thereafter
Marcus launched MJQ Multimedia., a high-tech company specializing in the design and development of web applications. Marcus has developed a series
of spoken word videos addressing issues such as black male parenting, empowerment/education of black youth and black male/female relationship. He writes,
directs, and produces the videos. He also acts as editor, cinematographer, and music producer. As a result, he has been a guest speaker on several radio
talk shows. Additionally, Marcus has developed a line of clothing with slogans designed to empower and enlighten minority youth. His mission,
“change the world one black man at a time”. Marcus also works as a Senior Software Developer in Burbank, CA, where he
develops web applications for major studios and independent film production companies. He currently resides in Monrovia, CA.
Quotes from Morpheus Prime
Self Examination is critical to your growth as an individual and plays a major role in your ability to operate in a functional adult relationship. Self Examination must begin with the acceptance of imperfection. The acceptance of imperfection will allow you to self examine without pain or depression. Until we are all able to walk on water there is always room for improvement.
In order for our culture to grow, as black men, we must once again accept and embrace the role of protector and provider. Once we are able to reclaim our role as protector and provider, we will begin to see a generation of emotionally well balanced, educated, high functioning adults begin to manifest. Who are better prepared to operate in a functional adult relationship.
Recognizing and understanding the burden that black woman have carried for our culture for years is part of the healing process that needs to happen....Once we are able to accept and embrace the fact that we have been forcing them to "play out of position" or more accurately "play both positions"...we can then begin to grow.....
Pay close attention to the emotional damage that missing fathers and bad relationships have caused you. Take the time to self examine so that you can release any bitter feelings and prevent yourself from caring them into future relationships.
Building Functional Adult relationships has to come to the center of the focus of our collective culture. Functional Adult relationships require high level communication skills and the ability to engage in complexed streams of consciousness like self examination, sacrifice, and loyalty. As a group we must begin to pursue collective goals for our culture and building functional adult relationships as black men and women must be at the top of our list of goals.
I want to thank our women for raising several generations of our children often times alone. Your strength and tenacity never ceases to amaze me! Your ability to fight through adversity is second to none. Without you picking up the piece and moving us forward, I am not sure where our culture would be today. Learning to truly appreciate what you have done for us all is a topic that deserves our attention.
If our men begin parenting their daughters, what we will begin to see is a generation of emotionally well balanced women who have much higher self esteem. Who are even more educated than they are today because they are in a better position to be educated because of income of their father... Studies have show a direct correlation between self esteem and teen pregnancy. In a functional family unit, a woman derives her initial sense of self esteem from her father. Her father sets the bar on how she should expect to be treated by other men when she goes out into the world. Often times, when women are making poor choices on who to sleep with they have low self esteem and are in search of that connection that a father provides. The combination of low self esteem and a small pool of emotionally and financially mature men to draw from has many of our sisters making bad choices. But missing fathers are still the core issue here....
As black men we must begin to realize that every moment that we spend with our children is critical. The time we spend with them is crucial in raising the self esteem of our daughters and it is the key to growing the pool of financially and emotionally mature men. Whether we are taking them to get a hair cut or to a basketball game, we have to treat the time we spend with our children as an opportunity to make a close emotion connection with them and as a chance to mold and shape their minds. Our collective acceptance of the leadership of our culture is required for culture to begin to grow...
As black men it is important that we begin to engage each other in a dialog about the importance of our presence in lives of our children. Among black men there is a general lack of awareness of how important it really is to maintain a close emotional connection with our children and there is a lack of understanding of the emotional balance that both parents provide... Since awareness is created through dialog....as black men, we have a responsibility to engage every black man around us in a dialog about the importance of maintaining a close emotional connection with our children no matter where they might be.....
Teachers come in many forms....As black men, we must begin taking advantage of the teachable moments that we have with each and every young black man around us...Our schools only bare a portion of the responsibility of teaching our young black men the things they need to know.....The rest is up to us. In fact, the truth is....we need everyone in our entire culture focused on solving the problem of educating our young black men.....Black Male education is one of our core issues as a people and it deserves our attention. Additionally, as black men we must begin creating life "On Schedule" and taking responsibility for cultivating the lives we create no matter what, so that we do not continue to inject emotionally unbalance black men into our society.....that need to be fixed....
Each of us has a fixed amount of "Mental Capital" to spend each day. It is important to monitor how you spend your mental capital each day because if you spend your mental capital on things that are beyond your control then you will not have any mental capital left to spend on the productive things in your life that you should be spending your mental capital on. If you allow your thoughts to be dominated by things like bad relationships from the past, people you don't like at work, or longing for relationships in the future....or any other type of future or past event that is beyond your control...then you are wasting your mental capital. Why spend your mental capital on things that are beyond your control? Monitor how you spend your mental capital to be sure you are spending it wisely.
It is important for us to begin to change how we think about and approach parenting as black men. In order to do that we must begin engaging each other in a healing dialog about what it means to be a strong black father, additionally we have to begin holding the impact of our parenting in higher regards. Fathers are extremely instrumental in providing male children with discipline and building the self esteem of female children.
Self Examination and Communication are the 2 most essential components to an functional adult relationship. It absolutely critical that we begin to focus on these 2 areas first, when we enter into our love relationships as black men and women. If your partner is unable or unwilling to self examine and take ownership, then it typically feels as if you are in a relationship with someone who is never wrong. Additionally, if you are not able to communicate what are feeling to your partner from a place that is not based in anger, then your partner can never be in a position to understand where you are coming from and how to satisfy your needs....So it is absolutely crucial that we begin the practice of making self examination and communication high level priorities as we begin to rebuild our love relationships a black men and women.
We have to "fall in love" with each other again as black men and women....we have gotten to a point where we just blame each other for everything...when the truth is...the reasons for our dysfunction as people are external to us...but the solutions for our dysfunction are internal to us....we simply have to focus on the "solutions" for the dysfunction rather than the "reasons" for the dysfunction.......
As black people, it is important that we begin to share information with each other that promotes complex thinking and an international view of the world. Additionally, we have to begin sharing information with each other that promotes our healing process...We share tons of information with each other in person and over the web right now...we just have to become more aware of what type of information we are sending to each other...... Right now our primary focus as a culture has to be on 3 main areas, Building functional adult relationships, black male parenting and black male education...when you share information with other people that engages them in a dialog about these topics you become an agent for social change within our culture. It is important that we begin to achieve more of a balance between the information we send to each other for entertainment and the information we send to each other for our healing.... Always remember..... Dialog creates Awareness...Awareness creates Focus......and Focus creates Change
As black men, it is absolutely critical that we begin to establish and demonstrate a high level of self sufficiency prior to participating in a functional adult relationship and prior to baring children...In order to be in position to head a household or parent children you must first learn how to take care of yourself. We have far too many men living off of women and far too many men who are baring children before they have established themselves.....In order to be defined as a real man...self sufficiency is crucial....Ladies if you are allowing a man to live off of you...it is quite possible that you are stunting his growth as a man.... In order for our culture to grow..we need our men to commit to an entire lifestyle of excellence...and demonstrating a high level of self sufficiency is big part of that commitment...
In order for us to begin building more functional adult relationships as black men and women it is important that we begin a dialog about what it means to create a "Close emotional Connection" with each other. A Close Emotional Connection provides a solid foundation for your relationship to grow. Moreover, it is critical that we make the distinction between "Intense Periods Lust" and a"Close Emotional Connection". Often times, we confuse these 2 very different states of human consciousness and it leads to failed relationships.
If we accept and embrace that slavery was the "systemic destruction of black family".....then we also have to accept and embrace that the "restoration of the black family" is critical to the success of our culture long term. In order for us to restore the black family it is important that we begin engaging each other regularly in a dialog about how to build functional adult relationships with in our community.....
Carrying around negative emotional experiences from the past is often times the number one threat to our internal happiness....Whether you are still upset about what your co-worker said to you last Friday or you on the defensive because your ex-boyfriend cheated on you last year...when we carry our past into our present we pollute our present experience...It is important that we pay close attention to how much of our past we carry into the present.... In order to maintain our own internal happiness we have to try to begin each day with a "clean slate", in terms our mental state of mind and our human interactions..
It is so very important that you "Get right with yourself" prior to engaging in a love relationship. Building and maintaining a functional adult relationships can be very challenging at times so when you enter a love relationship consumed by thoughts of your own insecurities and shortcomings often times we become needy and/or dependent...sometimes we become controlling and overbearing.... Developing a love relationship with who you are behind the physical form is the first step in building a functional adult relationship.
The love that I have for you in my heart as black women is really beyond words...I cannot begin to thank you enough for raising the young men and women that will shape our future...I want to acknowledge the difficult task that you often face when you have to parent alone and I would like to just take a moment to say thank you!...because I don't think we show you enough gratitude for what you have done and what you continue to do for us as people. Roughly 70% of the day to day parenting duties in our culture are executed by our women.We owe you a tremendous debt of gratitude...
My hope is that, as black men, we will begin to understand just how much you need our love and support. Until we get to that place, collective as a group, I am personally going to take every opportunity to tell you how much I love and respect you on a regular basis.....because I think it is important for us to begin a pattern of expressing sentiments of love and respect to one another.....
Often times men and women have a poor understanding of what it takes to keep a functional adult relationship up and running smoothly....primarily because they don't spend a lot of time consuming information that teaches them how to do it. Most people just try to learn on the fly.....We pick up books and watch videos to learn how to do many things in our lives....but most people think they already know how to have a love relationship, so they never seek out that type of information....When ,in fact, love relationships are very difficult to navigate once you begin to cohabitate......So it is extremely important for those of us who desire to be in a love relationship to devote some of our mental capital to learning the skills that are required to maintain a functional adult relationship long term.
While we all have heavy hearts from the verdict in the Trayvon Martin case, it think it is important for us to recognize that everything happens for a reason....we had to give the life of one of the greatest American leaders of our time in Martin Luther King in order to get a civil rights bill passed. I can only imagine what the collective body of black people where feeling at that time... Perhaps this is the event that gets the larger body of our society to gain an awareness of just how dysfunctional the justice systems has been for us. Only Time will tell.....It is very encouraging to see people of all races show up to march on the behalf of our fallen brother. It is my belief that our society has been evolving radically over the last several years. We saw the first presidential election where a candidate won the majority of the white male vote and did not win the presidency...we have seen a state, for the first time, elect all women to represent them in congress....and we have seen the gay community make a ton of progress.... Often times....in this type of climate.....an event like this can radically alter peoples views and perspectives.....it can lead to a larger body of people challenging their current belief system on many different fronts...whether it is their belief system about young black men or their views on the justice system or judging people by how they dress...or all of the above... Perhaps this is the event that gets us as black people and the rest of the country plugged into the plight of our most precious resource as a culture...young black men...
Once you have established a solid "Pipeline of Communication" as a fundamental part of your love relationship....what you will discover is a relationship that is rarely riddled with arguments over insignificant issues and situations... Building a solid "Pipeline of Communication" is primarily about establishing a healthy set of "Rules of Engagement" for discussing sensitive topics and debating different points of view....Defining these rules will prevent these types of conversions from becoming adversarial...Discussing sensitive topics and debating different points of view typically becomes an argument when your partner feels they are not being heard or not being acknowledged.....So your rules must include 3 fundamental behaviors....Active Listening.......Taking Ownership...and Verbal Acknowledgement of the feelings being expressed by your partner......
The truth is...there are 390,000 black men who have white wives....there 39,000 black men who have Asian wives.....and there are 66,000 black men who have a wife of some other race.....and there are 4,072,000 black men who have black wives......so by far statically black men prefer black women....so this notion that black men prefer women of other races is really a false narrative..........The far bigger problem is that black men rarely marry at all..... According to the 2010 census roughly 50% of black men have never been married....often times because they are not in position financially and emotionally to head a house hold...Roughly 43% of black men make enough money to support a family of 4.
Do you control your thoughts or Do your thoughts control you?
We tend to view the thoughts that we are having in mind as involuntary or sort of random in nature, or in some way beyond our control this is, of course, not the case.
All of us have the ability to control our thoughts, once we are able to make the distinction between our "being" and our "mind". Our "mind" is a tool of our "being", much like our legs and our eyes, so our minds and subsequently our thoughts can be controlled and directed just like any other part of our bodies.
When your thoughts control you....they feel random and beyond your control..and since your emotions are your body's reaction to the thoughts that you are having your emotions will be out of control as well....
When your thoughts control you...you stay mad for weeks about something your co-worker or spouse said to you...or you are constantly checking your man's/woman's phone for communication from other people...
When your thoughts control you...you come up with 100 reasons in your mind why you can't do something you have never even tried.
When your thoughts control you...you spend a lot of time agonizing over the past and worrying about the future...
When you control your thoughts....you allow your "being" to question the productivity level of the current thoughts in your mind at all times.....and when you find that your current thoughts are not productive your "being" shifts that "mental capital" to productive thoughts centered around your goals, passions, and pursuits in life.
When you control your thoughts...you experience extended periods of bliss....because...you are rarely stuck in a pattern of thinking that invokes negative emotions.... when you consistently agonize over the past...or continually worry about the future..your body reacts with emotions of anger, resentment, fear, etc....when you remove the thoughts the emotions that you feel with go as well...
One thing that has become very clear to me is...one cannot achieve true happiness without first learning how to control and direct their thinking. A lot of us are thinking ourselves into a frenzy everyday over insignificant situations and things in that past that we cannot change....
So ask yourself and answer truthfully....Do you control your thoughts or Do your thoughts control you?
Brothers and Sisters....stay hungry and remain focused.....
The Love Relationship Journey
What I have grown to understand is...as human beings we are not fixed...we are constantly evolving...emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc....Often times, as this evolution occurs our needs change as people. Sometimes, people evolve and grow together....but the majority of the time they do not...One person usually out grows the other in one way or another...usually, what we desire from a long term love relationship at 43 is a bit different from what it was when we were 23.
I tend to view relationships as a shared journey....some folks but very few...are able to clear away their personal baggage long enough to find the right person....and grow and evolved together as a couple. but most people get into relationships that are good for them right now...they share a common journey together for a while....over time they evolve...grow apart and then spend the other portions of their journey with someone else.
The distinction I would make, is that I don't see relationships that don't last long term as failures. They are simply part of our journey, and perhaps important to our individual growth as people. So, when a love relationship does not end up lasting long term, there is no need for anger and animosity. The approach should be to simply be grateful for the good times you had together as a couple, and to be thankful that you were able to learn something about life while you were sharing a common journey. Our tendency is to dwell on the parts of the relationship that were less desirable...typically toward the end of the relationship. When in reality, in most cases, even though the relationship did not last it was not all bad.
Everything is a matter of perspective.